"However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived,” the things God has prepared for those who love him."
I Corinthians 2:9
Isaiah 64:4 is the scripture that I Corinthians 2:9 refers to in the phrase, "However, as it is written. . ." This scripture reads, "Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him" (NIV). God understands that our pasts are just that "passed." We can't change the things that have gone before. Try as we might we can't change ourselves. It may seem that we make some superficial adjustments; but honestly, without God's indwelling Spirit anything that we can do ourselves is just skin deep. When we give our past and present to God in repentance and salvation He ensures us a glorious future. We are given the opportunity to live our lives in His presence now, and to spend eternity with Him in a heaven that we can't even imagine.
I pray that you accept God's offer of eternity. His intention is and always has been an intimate relationship with man. This truth is traced through the Bible, from the Fall of man in Adam, to the redemption of mankind in Christ. He loves you. That is the beginning and the end.